FANtasies Fanfiction

Justin's Guide To Speeding, Conning Cops, And Getting Smacked



Justin smiled as he slipped down the road in his new BMW Roadster.

"Yes, I am the Pimp Daddy!" he cried into the night air.

"Hey, Pimp Daddy, you're fixin' to run into that garbage truck." Britney said.

"Yo, woman, shut up!" he cried. He stopped fast. "You be gettin' on my nerves, girl."

"You don't know how many times I've wanted to dump you. You're mean." She muttered. He turned and gave her a heart-stopping smile. "And then you do that and make me wanna keep you."

"Girl, you know I'm fly. I be the finest sucker ever." He said as the garbage truck got away from him.

"Does Maggie know you're cheating with me?" she wondered.

"We haven't talked about getting official yet, so..." He trailed off as he pushed down on the gas. "I really don't give a crap. I only go with her 'cause she's a ho, and she can freak like-"

"What about me?" Brit asked.

"Could we not talk about it?"

"Ugh! You're such a jerk!"

He shrugged. "Your opinion, girl, but, you know, I am FLY, so I can get anybody I want, yo." He said, a little conceitedly.

Suddenly, they heard a siren.

"Yo, Pimp Daddy, don't look now, but you be busted." Brit said.

Justin looked in the rear-view mirror. "Dang!" he yelled. He pulled over to the side of the road.

The cop car pulled over behind it.

A lady cop stepped out of the car. She was an inch shorter than Brit, weighed maybe 190 or 200 pounds, and had armpit-length brown hair.

"Woah, she be pretty fly for a fat chick!" he cried as he checked her out in the rear-view mirror.

The lady cop approached the car.

"Justin Timberlake. Why am I not surprised?" she asked.

"Yo, girlie, whazzup?" he asked.

"Sorry, Mr. Timberlake, I didn't take Ebonics 101." The cop said.

He forced a laugh. "I just told Britney that you're pretty fly for a fat chick. " he said.

"Goodie for me, then." The cop said.

"Yo, honey, what's yo name?" Justin asked.

"Does it matter, speed demon?" she asked.

"Yeah, it do."

"The correct word is 'does', and it's Officer Becca."

"Is Becca your first or last name?" he asked in a flirty tone.

She held up her forefinger. "First."

"How far was I going?"

"Too far..." Brit whispered jealously.

"70 miles in a 30-mile zone." Becca said.

"Ya know, if you don't give me a ticket, I'll go a little farther than that, girl." he said.

Britney smacked him.

"Joy. You just hit on me. Skinny-butt pimp." she muttered.

"That's right, baby, I'm the Pimp Daddy!" he cried. He opened the car door and hopped out. "Yo, girl, come on. You're fine, I'm fine. Let's be fine together! Come on, at least you're REAL." He held his hands in front on his chest suggestively. "Brit ain't."

"Mmm. Now you've got me intrigued. What about that chick Maggie?"

"I- I'll dump her if you want me to. You be fine, girl." He smiled at her.

She smiled and started to faint. He caught her. She opened her eyes. "Okay. No ticket." she whispered.

"Okay. Now give me your number, girl." he whispered back.

"Can you remember 555-3201?" she asked.

"You betcha, hotcakes." he said as he looked down at her. He planted a kiss on her lips, then got back into the car.

Brit smacked his face.

"Take me home! NOW!" she demanded.

"You brute!" she yelled when he pulled up at her house. She slapped him... hard.

She got out of the car and ran into the house.

He took out a cellphone and dialed a number.

"Is this Becca? Yo, dis be Justin. I need to report abuse. Yeah, I just got slapped..."